kink

Incest at Game Night

I was recently at a friend’s house for a game night, when, as my favorite social gatherings do, someone inadvertently brought up the subject of kink (i.e., less conventional sexual interests and/or practices, including BDSM, fetishes, etc.). This person had misheard someone else during a word-game and thought they had said “daddy,” instead of whatever the word actually was. Some of us chuckled, but she then expressed disgust for incest fantasies, in general. (more…)

I Added A Kinky Dating Application to My OkCupid Profile. Here’s What Happened.

In late July, a friend sent me a screenshot of a woman’s Tinder profile where she included a link to a survey and directed men interested in dating her to fill it out. Although the questions she asked struck me as more superficial and entertaining than for compatibility assessment, I thought her idea was brilliant and decided to do the same for my OkCupid profile. Heck yes for efficiency, especially for someone like me who is seeking a partner with highly specific, somewhat less common preferences. (more…)

Dear Future Partner (Calling All Submissives)

In public, you are witty and cunning, but around women, you crumble inside. You fear being found out as a fraud, a coward, and anything less than a “real man”. You drive me wild, yet you have no clue why I would even give you the time of day.

You want me to tear your down to your raw, core emotions, then nurture you back to neutrality. You bear ample emotional baggage and need someone who loves your vulnerability as much as your strength. (more…)

You Can’t Afford Me: The Morality of Financial Sexual Domination

I remember hearing a few years ago of a woman who taught preschool by day and financially enslaved men by night. I don’t remember why the story made the news, but I was puzzled as to why this woman could say such mean things to her clientele, only to have them obediently lavish their life savings upon her.

I was asked the other day about my opinion of the morality of financial domination. What is financial domination, you ask? It’s a type of power play where a dominant partner “forces” a submissive partner to remit money. The play is entirely consensual and often involves blackmail, punishments, and other venues of humiliation by the dominant partner toward the submissive partner for the mutualistic benefit of both partners.

So, where does a reasonable person draw the line between sexual expression and placating an addiction to the point of destitution? (more…)

Fifty Shades of Pissed Off

Valentine’s Day rapidly approaching this weekend means the big screen debut of Fifty Shades of Grey will at last arrive as well. Will I, a self-proclaimed sexuality geek, be attending a viewing?

Hail naw.

At the lunch table this afternoon, my coworker described her lack of interest in both the books and the new film, and my boss agreed. Trying my best to not blush, I delivered a close-to-home-yet-pruned-for-work rant about my disgust with Fifty Shades and its heinously inaccurate depiction of the BDSM lifestyle. (more…)

That Time I Found a Dominatrix on Craigslist

I’ve had some thought-provoking experiences with Craigslist this past year. However, this recent experience was unique and delightful because I was not looking to sell more of my used undergarments and shoes to the men who my horrified mother refers to as, “those internet perverts”.

(… in that voice, no less.)

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How a Cartoon Show Taught Me That I’m Perverted

Hey! / What a wonderful kind of day / where you learn to work and play / and get along with each other / Hey!

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Ever see Arthur as a child? I grew up watching that show every day after school. Even as an adult, when I stumble upon reruns as I’m channel surfing, I’ll watch an episode or two (or ten) for old times’ sake.

I have a distinctive memory of one episode that forever changed my life. When one of Arthur’s friends rips his pants in front of their third grade class, Arthur begins have nightmares that he will be humiliated by having his underwear exposed at school, too.

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That Time I Went to a Sex Dungeon

Never again will I be able to look at a macramé plant hanger without blushing. I don’t often go places or do stuff, and trying new things scares me. Two years ago, I didn’t even know BDSM was a thing. Imagine my surprise when a friend talked me into venturing out to a nightclub fully equipped to strap naked people to every wall. (more…)

Kink and Feminism: Bound To Be Free?

Bondage. Discipline. Dominance. Submission. Sadism. Masochism. BDSM intrigues me to no end. Who wouldn’t be curious about this underground lifestyle?  (more…)