feminism

The Politics of My “Lady” Handshake

man shaking hands with woman

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It started with a business meeting between three men and me. Our law firm is contracting the services of a local accounting firm to assist on a multi-million dollar lawsuit, and the time arose to talk details with the accountant for the first time. After the meeting, we all shook hands. No big deal, right? Then, my attorney and I helped ourselves to the delicious pastries the accountant had furnished upon our conference room and began retreating back to our firm’s office. My attorney held the door for me, as he tends to do, and as I passed through, the accountant made an odd remark.

Bluntly, he exclaimed, “You have an excellent handshake for a woman!” (more…)

My First Fuck

I don’t have any secrets, at least not my own. I prefer to live my life as an open book, with relatively few exceptions (looking at you, current employer). I do, however, consider myself a collector of the secrets of others, which is especially fun when I can partake in those secrets.

Most of my friends don’t know what I’m about to share with the world. Tonight’s juice is about the first time I had penetrative sex. It was during my college years with a trusted partner, and despite the college norm, my first time was actually anal sex, not vaginal. If you want to get technical, the more common name for what I transacted is pegging. (more…)

Are Ex-Boyfriends Always Off-Limits to Friends?

woman standing on road

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In high school, I used to joke that my friends and I dated like we were Amish. We tended to stay within our own group, and as a result, many of us ended up dating the same friends as each other, almost on rotation.

I have yet to figure out why I was the only girl within my group to get grief for dating my friends’ exes. We all did it, so why was I singled out? My boyfriends received no grief because they’re guys; they can’t help themselves. They’re slaves to their anatomy, I was taught. But girls… Well, we should be thinking clearly because we know better. (Ha.) (more…)

The Silent Treatment for Rapists

http://feministing.com/2014/02/06/dont-be-friends-with-rapists/

Social exclusion is a powerful punisher. If that’s what it takes to discourage rape and other forms of sexual violence, that’s what we need to do. It works in cultures with low rape rates, and it will work for us. It’s not enough for survivors to be the only folks speaking out against these horrors; everyone needs to be on board and be willing to shun people who choose to behave this way.

You Let Your Daughter Cut Her Hair: Reflections on the Pixie

several scissors

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A while back, Willow Smith’s hair made the news… again. So did her mother, Jada Pinkett Smith, for “letting” her cut it off. Smith gave this excellent response, originally shared via Huffington Post:

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Stealing A Kiss

I’ve never understood what it meant to “steal a kiss.” People kiss because they want to, right? So, how does a person steal something that’s willingly given?

My junior year of college, I had a whopping crush on this gorgeous creature in one of my general education lectures. I spent half of every class staring at him. He sat right behind me (more…)

Because You Let Me

A chubby, misunderstood kid, Boy pretended not to care what others thought of him. He was a smarter than everyone around him, or so he liked to remind himself (and those of us within earshot). An underachiever, he loved the surprised facial expressions he received from high school teachers whose classes he ditched but tests he aced. (more…)

That Time I Took Advantage of a Drunk Boy

The theme of the party was Snow Pants or No Pants, and lemme tell ya, I didn’t see a single pair of snow pants the entire night.  (more…)

That Time I Went to a Sex Dungeon

 

Never again will I be able to look at a macramé plant hanger without blushing.

I don’t often go places or do stuff, and trying new things scares me.

Two years ago, I didn’t even know BDSM was a thing. Imagine my surprise when a friend talked me into venturing out to a nightclub fully equipped to strap naked people to every wall. (more…)

How Companies Make Fortunes Off Your Cellulite

pexels-photo-2068975.jpeg

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Although women have always had jelly-like patches on the backs of our thighs, cellulite wasn’t seen as a “problem” until around the 1970s.

So, why the change? (more…)