feminism

The Politics of My “Lady” Handshake

It started with a business meeting between three men and me. Our law firm is contracting the services of a local accounting firm to assist on a multi-million dollar lawsuit, and the time arose to talk details with the accountant for the first time. After the meeting, we all shook hands. No big deal, right? Then, my attorney and I helped ourselves to the delicious pastries the accountant had furnished upon our conference room and began retreating back to our firm’s office. My attorney held the door for me, as he tends to do, and as I passed through, the accountant made an odd remark.

Bluntly, he exclaimed, “You have an excellent handshake for a woman!” (more…)

My First Fuck

I don’t have any secrets, at least not my own. I prefer to live my life as an open book, with relatively few exceptions (looking at you, current employer). I do, however, consider myself a collector of the secrets of others, which is especially fun when I can partake in those secrets.

Most of my friends don’t know what I’m about to share with the world. Tonight’s juice is about the first time I had penetrative sex. It was during my college years with a trusted partner, and despite the college norm, my first time was actually anal sex, not vaginal. If you want to get technical, the more common name for what I transacted is pegging. (more…)

(Borrowed from Elsewhere) Cleaning is NOT the New Cardio: Women, Housework and Not Working Out

The “second shift” is alive and well, unfortunately. This post hits the nail on the head about common in-home gender dynamics for chore-splitting and about marketing for these burdens falling exclusively around the necks of women.

FIT IS A FEMINIST ISSUE

Tammy Wynette had it right: Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman. Especially when it comes to domestic labor. Tons has been written about how women, after coming home from paid work outside the home, commence “the second shift” in which they cook, clean, do childcare, and manage household needs. And despite the fact that the women’s movement is easily more than 40 years old, this situation is still pervasive. In the New Republic, Jessica Grose tells her own rather typical story:

“When it comes to housecleaning, my basically modern, egalitarian marriage starts looking more like the backdrop to an Updike short story. My husband and I both work. We split midnight baby feedings. My husband would tell you that he does his fair share of the housework, but if pressed, he will admit that he’s never cleaned the bathroom, that I do the dishes nine times out of ten…

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(Borrowed from Elsewhere) Put A Ring On It: The Tradition of Engagement Rings

Another spot-on post from ShoutOut!

ShoutOut! James Madison University

I’ve thought (read: fantasized) a lot about my engagement, from the location to the surprise to the magazine-worthy pictures that will be posted on Facebook the next day. And in this fantasy, the proposal always includes an engagement ring (vintage, with a unique stone in the middle surrounded by diamonds. I haven’t thought about it too much though…). I’ve always considered an engagement ring to be a promise of a future life-long commitment, as well as a really pretty piece of jewelry. But where did this tradition even come from? And is a ring a commitment statement or something a little more misogynistic?

Flickr.com, CC

The tradition of diamond engagement rings actually began as a marketing scheme launched by the De Beers diamond company in the 1930s. Because De Beers diamond sales had been dropping throughout the 1920s, the company hired the advertising firm N.W. Ayer to create a promotional…

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Healthy Masculinity

Mysterious strangers of Tumblr, you’ve done it again. Say HELLO to my new favorite Tumblr tag: #healthymasculinity. Join the movement at http://healthymasculinity.tumblr.com! (more…)

Hasn’t She Seen Mean Girls?

In high school, I used to joke that my friends and I dated like we were Amish. We tended to stay within our own group, and as a result, many of us ended up dating the same friends as each other, almost on rotation.

I have yet to figure out why I was the only girl within my group to get grief for dating my friends’ exes. We all did it, so why was I singled out? My boyfriends received no grief because they’re guys; they can’t help themselves. They’re slaves to their anatomy, I was taught. But girls… Well, we should be thinking clearly because we know better. (Ha.) (more…)

The Silent Treatment for Rapists

http://feministing.com/2014/02/06/dont-be-friends-with-rapists/

Social exclusion is a powerful punisher. If that’s what it takes to discourage rape and other forms of sexual violence, that’s what we need to do. It works in cultures with low rape rates, and it will work for us. It’s not enough for survivors to be the only folks speaking out against these horrors; everyone needs to be on board and be willing to shun people who choose to behave this way.

Don’t Rape Me, Rape Her Instead

Rapists are not significantly influenced by modifying the behavior of potential rape victims (i.e. everyone, particularly individuals who are least likely to report the crime and especially likely to be blamed for “provoking” rapists). Being raped is not a choice; raping is.  (more…)

You Let Your Daughter Cut Her Hair: Reflections on the Pixie

A while back, Willow Smith’s hair made the news… again. So did her mother, Jada Pinkett Smith, for “letting” her cut it off. Smith gave this excellent response, originally shared via Huffington Post:

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Stealing A Kiss

I’ve never understood what it meant to “steal a kiss.” People kiss because they want to, right? So, how does a person steal something that’s willingly given?

My junior year of college, I had a whopping crush on this gorgeous creature in one of my general education lectures. I spent half of every class staring at him. He sat right behind me (more…)