Why My Coworkers Secretly Hate Each Other

The law firm where I work aims to pair attorneys and paralegals in a 1:1 ratio, and with the exception of some of the more experienced paralegals, most of us meet that ratio. Therefore, it’s vital to the success of our teams that each attorney-paralegal pair has a positive working relationship, yet that goal is often overlooked. (more…)

Limp Dicks and Bare Faces: A Female Perspective on Impotence

There is an episode of Sex and the City where the protagonist is dating a short story writer who, ironically, prematurely ejaculates. When I watch that episode in the company of male friends, they burst out laughing during the scene where we first witness Mr. Man’s sexual difficulty. Immediately thereafter, that hearty laughter turns to thinly veiled nervous laughter. Female friends, however, have never laughed. In contrast, they have tended to sympathize with the protagonist’s frustration with her partner — not so much over his sexual difficulty, but over his disinterest in discussing it with her. (more…)

Are We Okay?

My favorite aspect of my most recent romantic relationship was our level of communication. Both he and I are exemplary at interpersonal communication in romantic contexts, and one of best ways we kept our relationship fortified was with three simple words: (more…)

She Cheated With Two Men in One Day!

Listening to the radio the other morning, a woman explained how her boyfriend recently caught her cheating on him — twice, in the same day. She and he shared a studio apartment, and he came back during his lunch break one afternoon to find her having sex with someone. He left the scene and returned to work, only to come home hours later to find her having sex with a different person. (more…)

Don’t Take This the Wrong Way

I hate that phrase. Oh, how I hate that phrase. To caution someone to not interpret something “the wrong way” is to imply that there is a “right way” to think: the speaker’s way. The phrase assumes a position of entitlement that blames the listener for not understanding the speaker’s intention. But, that’s just it. (more…)

You Think I’m Hot, and I Think You’re Hot. Why Is That Not Enough?

A friendquaintance recently propositioned me for casual sex. He and I hadn’t spoken in a long time and had a few phone calls to sorta-kinda reconnect, where we discussed our mutual physical attraction toward each other that had built over the past few years. However, I was explicit in the reasons that I would not be consenting to sex, first and foremost for the damage that it would cause to one of my other, much closer friendships, but also because I did not think he and I were sexually compatible. We’re both very dominant in bed, and I foresaw an obnoxious power struggle that was worth neither my energy nor traumatizing my aforereferenced friendship. (more…)

That Angry, Naked Guy is Art!

Since the last time I visited the Hirshhorn Museum in D.C. a few years ago, which was the first time I’d been since I was maybe seven years old, one work of art has remained fixated in my mind and left within me a lasting, emotional impression.

Big Man, by Ron Mueck, is a larger-than-life sculpture of a round, hunched, naked, scowling man. In person, I found him to be breathtaking. He bears a look of tired frustration across his brow and jaw, and fleshy curves across his abdomen. His skin is wrinkled, dimpled, and splotched.


What Makes a Man Pathetic?

Recently, someone remarked that I date pathetic men. To my ex-partners who may be reading this, I certainly don’t think any of you are pathetic, and I apologize that this person has perceived you as such. While I bear a strong preference for sexually-inexperienced men who prefer to play an exclusively submissive role in intimate relationships and have ample emotional baggage, I would like to clarify to onlookers that fewer than half of the men I’ve dated meet these qualifiers.

My feelings aside, that comment got me thinking — what does it mean to be a pathetic man in our society? (more…)

Secret-Keeping vs. Selfishness: That Time I Knew Too Much and Picked the Selfish Choice Anyway

I’ve come into sensitive information that I’m not supposed to have about one of my dearest friends, and I feel simultaneously guilty and hurt — guilty because I wasn’t supposed to know the information in the first place and only came to learn it because I specifically fished for it, and hurt because, for some reason unbeknownst to me, my friend deliberately withheld this information from me, thereby disabling me from being a potential emotional resource for her.  (more…)

I Just Can’t Wait to Be Queen

I find myself waking up with a racing heartbeat and a foul knot in the pit of my stomach more frequently these days. My best guess is that the largest stressor in my life right now is my job, only it isn’t the work causing me anxiety.

I have spent most of my life terrified of authority figures, and even though I adore my boss and think we work extremely well as a team, I can’t help but wonder if I’m stressing myself out over the idea of disappointing him.

On the job, I am devastated when my boss suggests any sort of dissatisfaction with my work. At face value, I recognize the absurdity of this stressor. I work damn hard and perform the best that I can on a regular basis, and I’m still fairly new at what I’m doing, so the expectation of perfection is ludicrous. (more…)