Relationships

That Time I Was Slut-Shamed by the Turkey Lady

I was strolling through the halls of my high school as a young sophomore when I was grabbed at the scruff of my neck by the turkey lady. (more…)

Sh*t My Dad Says: Consent

My dad is a smart guy, one of the smartest people I’ve ever known. Like, Spock-with-a-sense-of-humor smart. Growing up, he always knew all the answers to every question I had. In fact, I’m still in awe over both his wealth of knowledge and how he interacts with the world, often to the extent that I take notes (yes, actual notes) when we have substantive conversations.
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Dear Men of the Internet: Stop Pretending You Know What’s Best for My Love Life

A trend I’ve noticed on OkCupid, and in life, is of men who choose to blatantly disregard women’s preferences, whether they be sexual preferences, romantic preferences, dating preferences, and/or other preferences. 
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An Open Letter to the Father of the Stanford Rapist, Brock Turner

Dear Mr. Turner — or, as you signed your statement to Judge Persky, dear Dan,

Your “twenty minutes of action” comment horrified me even more than Judge Persky’s refusal to punish Brock. Rape is not ‘getting some action.’ Rape steals another human being’s bodily autonomy. By this logic, are you saying you would have no qualms about someone dragging Brock’s unconscious body behind a dumpster and inserting whatever they wanted into any of his bodily openings for twenty minutes? Or is “action” only palatable when it’s a male-on-female crime? (more…)

Ask Me Anything: There’s Zero Sexual Tension; Should We Stop Dating? Help!

A friend recently came to me in a tizzy over her dating life. She is dating a polyamorous woman who is also currently dating my friend’s sociopathic ex, yet what has her most uneasy about this budding relationship is not the social complications if they were to pursue a committed, romantic relationship. Rather, what concerns her is the lack of sexual tension.  (more…)

That Time I Was Called Out for Being Too Happy at Work

A coworker commented today on my perma-cheery demeanor. I’ve worked at this job for almost a year now, and my coworker joined about six months prior to my arrival. She remarked that when she started, she was cheery like me on a daily basis, but since before I started working here, she has been under such constant stress that she wants to start pulling her hair out. (Figuratively. I checked.) (more…)

An Open Letter to All the Ugly Men I’ve Slept With

Let me first give a heartfelt thank you to all of you men who have shared (or have offered to share) your bodies with me, in any capacity. That’s a gift that I do not take lightly. What puzzles me, though, is why you can’t recognize your own appeal. (more…)

Valentine’s Day: Yet Another Way for Men to Fail

Last Thursday morning, as I was surfing my usual radio station medleys on my drive to work, I stumbled across a humorous Valentine’s Day promotion. Hot 99.5 was offering men who had not yet made Valentine’s Day dinner reservations the chance to win pre-made reservations at popular local restaurants. In exchange for the gift, the men had to imitate how mad their female significant others would be if they found out that the men had nothing planned for the big day. While male impressions of female nagging can be hit or miss, two of the three I heard were hilarious. (more…)

Do You Mind If I Tell People We Met at the, Uh, Gym?

Why is there still a stigma about online dating? We do EVERYTHING else online. We’re constantly technologically connected, and we crave instant gratification. Sure, that means you’re choosing between infinitely more people than you could otherwise meet day-to-day, but the convenience of being able to peruse countless (well, practically countless) potential dates from your couch, your bed, your toilet, the metro, or wherever is unparalleled. Why shouldn’t dating — or at least the preliminary stages of dating — be as easy as online shopping? (more…)

Man Up, Guys.

One of the radio shows that keeps me company on the way to work in the morning has a segment where they set up hoaxes for listeners who are concerned about the faithfulness of their significant others. The hoaxes usually entail calling the person’s significant other on the phone and posing as someone who works in a flower shop, under the ruse that the shop buys magazine subscription lists and the significant other has won this month’s random draw for sending a bouquet of a dozen roses (and sometimes a romantic massage for two) to someone special. (more…)